How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
My vagina just recognized that song.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
