i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
