Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Is her dick bigger than yours?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
