that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
