so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
