I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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