oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
