So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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