Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
