another moral hangover. fuck.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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