I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Randomize
