had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
