i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Randomize
