Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
