I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
