absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
