im drinking this country out of the recession.
Fuck appropriateness.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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