What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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