I hope mine doesn't look like that
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
