We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
