Im at strip club and am horny
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We left the knife in your bed.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
