So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
