Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
