I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
where are my eyebrows?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
