The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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