I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
