I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize