Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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