if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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