carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
