i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
NoShamevember. You game?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize