I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
we're so committed to being not committed
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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