I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
