There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
