you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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