Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
