i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
