my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize