New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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