Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I think people are normalizing furries
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
