So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
