My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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