Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
