we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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