It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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