Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
