I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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