Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize