WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
