Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
