We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
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