Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
