ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize