he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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