I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
