the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
