If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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