What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
