How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
