god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
