If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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