he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
